A month has passed since I last wrote and an enjoyable one it has been too. The weather is still dominated by 30 + degree heat but is now lovingly interspersed with lots and lots of cooling and hypnotic rain. Mmmmmm.............   raaaaaiiiiin. It makes gardening almost impossible but I can just about handle that. Apparently  this is the rainy season. The rice farmers around have been busy bees, getting their fields ready to make best use of it now that its softened up the fields. I will take this opportunity to take my hat off to the people that grow rice here. I find just tending my little plot a hassle if a pleasurable one. My Falang skin wont stand too much heat and I suffer a bit. These men and women must be hard as nails to get the job done.

     Increased rice prices have sent everyone into either a panic or a frenzy of delight depending on whether your growing or buying. Some have even ripped up their other crops  to produce rice. Now is the time to get ready cos when the rice is in you can  kick back and watch it grow, as there is not much else to do. Having said that the rising prices have sadly meant a rise in organised rice theft where people move in and literally steal the rice from the field. Haven't heard of it here yet but we'll see nearer harvest time.  The view from my window has gone from this to this in 2 weeks. Soon the paddy will be planted up and left to grow, and the landscape will change at its alarming rate again . I can see where old Mr Gautama got his inspiration for the impermanence of all things . With the the fertile soil, warmth and lots of rain everything grows so fast here . 

           It is a little sad that buffalo are hardly ever used any more to tend the fields. Apart from their general bovine mellowness and mostly good nature the beasts were once indispensable . Heavy workers in the fields , lawnmowers  after the harvest , a source of transport , the best fertiliser a paddy can get and of course when it became too old it was also food and very tasty too.  Ok ok , yes i was nearly killed by one in Vang Vieng one time when it thought I was starin at its burd , but I got over it . I had sort of romantically hoped to make fresh mozzarella here too if i could find a farmer willing to supply the milk . Alas its pretty hard to find a beast let alone get milk from it.  Anyway it is a little sad that this once integral part of the landscape has now been replaced by something  as noisy and  polluting as the tractor. I mean they just don't taste the same.

          I've read reports that elsewhere farmers are already responding to the increase in fuel prices by getting their fields worked again by these iconic beasts . It takes slightly longer but costs half as much money and increases yields as the dainty beasts can get into tighter spots than their mechanical equivalents. Lets face it , the price of oil isn't going to drop even if they settle that little spat in the middle east, so maybe this will be the return of the Quai as they are known here. 

   Having lived and worked in Scotland nearly all my life , I was of course going to miss certain things. In Scotland I was a head chef, had friends ,family , spoke the language and generally lots going for me. Edinburgh is a great city and Scotland a beautiful place. It's a shame for me because I never seemed to find the time for any of it.

   Rule 1:    TRUST NO ONE. EVER. THEY ARE A LYING SLAG UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT. AND ILL BET THEY HAVE LEFT YOU LOADS OF WORK.

  Rule2:      CHEF RUPERT IS ALWAYS RIGHT.... EVEN WHEN HE IS NOT RIGHT BECAUSE THAT CANT BE RIGHT BECAUSE HE IS ALWAYS RIGHT.

  Rule3:     ALWAYS MAKE THE CHEF TEA

    ETC ETC ETC ...

       The rules ran on and on into several volumes and were subject to changes without notice. It was put to me by my Aunt that , like her , I ran a socialist, fascist ,dictatorship .I guess thats one way to describe it. Anyway , here are a few pics of those i left behind. The Legends of the catering trade.

         And persons past.

        Well, thats all the ones i can find pictures of , there were many, many more. I  liked the people I worked with and miss them. Some I'm sure will make it out here to Thailand  and I hope they will visit me so we can laugh like buggery at the madness of it all. I did my best there for the team and left when I had to , for their part they were great in buying me a camera ( which I take all these pictures on ) as a leaving gift and wishing me all the best. Special thanks to Thom, Bex, Dale, Neil , Petr, and all the lovely Polish guys on salads for the single malts. Either you guys liked me or were really , really glad to see me go. Still enjoying them and rationing them to special events and guests. Lovely. !!!!  I may or may not delve into history again to expose the underworld hilarity of the big budget catering trade  but i just wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you to those above .

Hi , my name is Lana and I am 3 years old. AND I LIKE PINK. My whole big name is Lana Thandawan Wai-tiss. Thandawan means sunflower in Thai which is good cos i have a sunny face , am very beautiful and make people smile..... well so Dad says..... and he knows everything .I used to live in Scotland  where I went to school and generally was pretty amazing at doing things all by myself. Well apart from cooking , I let Mum and Dad help me with that . When we left Scotland everyone gave me big cuddles which is great . Maybe ill leave again someday . I had to say goodbye to all my friends like Pha Dtong and Lung Luis, Khon Yai Ad, my school friends and the lovely ladies at the veg shop who gave me the Scottish teddy bear to remind me of my other home.. I used to help them with the money on Thursday and Friday after school. I hope they are ok without me. I got to see my cousin Cameron before I went too and that is great cos he is the coolest cousin in the whole world. Cousin Kirsty is cool too but when your big like me you need other big children to play with. Nana and Grumpa gave me the biggest hugs and I think Nana was going to squash me, then she got something in her eye and we were had to go . I hope it wasn't a big fly or anything. She is cool too and always has great ideas for what to do . Did i say i like pink????

GARDEN UPDATE.

             Gardening here in Thailand is a whole new ball game to me. My efforts seem hampered at every turn and sometimes make me wonder if the fight against nature / Thailand is worth it.  Take my compost heap for example. 

      Concrete here is a prized local material and the more you can spread on your garden ( or someone else's ) the better. As in ...." Oh look a veg patch / nice tree / compost heap ... best cover it over ........ just in case.. ".  My feet have also come under attack from the mozzies and humidity so I've been kept from doing much this month,  save take a few pics and notice that the caterpillars and sparrows have nibbled more or less everything I planted. Slags.!!! Still I've been taking pics so here's the update in picture form.

AND LOVE WAS IN THE AIR.

VIENTIANE

         I fell in love with Laos years ago after a series of wonderful meetings and experiences there rekindled my faith in human nature. I had entered from the North and meandered down the Mekhong taking in jungles and some wonderful rural mountain families along the way . My in-laws have a house 20 kilometres from Vientiane and I have stayed there many times but I had never really explored the capital. So off I set with motorbike arranged for transport I was going to travel round the city , look at the museums, the old communist leader Kaysone Pomvihane's house ( apparently very modest for a commie) go to the zoo to see the last white elephant from this land that is called Lan Xang or million elephants.. Apparently if another white one cant be found before it dies then the kingdom will perish. Some would say with the murder of the king that has already happened but shhhhhh don't mention the king. .... what king ..... exactly . Anyhow I was excited , I was going motor biking into this wonderfully exciting country and i couldn't wait.

       I had always found my glimpses of Vientiane a little disappointing. The buildings all a mash of billboards and dirty wires. The fountains didn't work , there just didn't seem to be much to see. I wanted to give it one more chance. I walked and walked, I stopped for laap salad and beer , I walked some more. I saw graffiti , litter, way too many motorbikes and cars, boy racers, lots of backpackers wandering aimlessly like me . I  saw muddy kerbs and tuk tuk drivers selling  ".. woman , opium , hashish , Viagra."  I saw endless boring streets . I was not particularly impressed and  decided to give up my tour and just read my book and indulge in the good things in Vientiane. Namely the food and the beer lao. Probably the best beer in Asia. 

   For 3 days I ate laap salad , half formed duck , duck eggs, and sai go moo or lao sausage. fantastic. On the 3rd morning I woke to find my bike was stolen and nobody knew anything about it. I was laughed at for suggesting someone may have impounded it. Told not to bother making a police report. Silly Falang. Leaving a motorbike like that. Ha ha ha . I was secretly happy it was gone. Probably replace it for 20 quid. No worries. Turns out that the local village chief had  impounded it , worried that someone might steal it. He just forgot to tell anyone. Hmmmmm??? Sounds fishy to me. Anyway after a 50 000 kip ( £3 ) fine I had it back and was on my way. Right back over the bridge .

                     With my nose in a book I didnt see much picture worthy stuff in Laos but i did get these.

    So not so much an adventure round Laos as I'd hoped  but to sum up Vientiane I'd say its nice as a capital city and has more in the way of restaurants and shops than Nongkhai , the food is of a wonderfully high standard and its easier to get a glass of wine , but I found that like most cities now its a little impersonal and becoming full of crap and way too full of traffic. I'd go back just to sit by the river and drink Beer Lao and eat laap again and again , have a nice Indian curry for breakfast , stock up on wine and return. For me though the heart and soul of Laos remains in the jungle. Maybe next time eh. If they haven't sold it all to the Chinese or burnt it down or something.

MORGAN UPDATE.

   Oh , news just in about the first rice thief caught in the Nongkhai area. Police believe the culprit is quite small and is working with another. They have released these pictures in the hope that someone may identify the criminal and he be taken into custody.