Part 01

A DIFFERENT VIEW FROM NONGKHAI

Published

15 may

2551

THE STORY SO FAR .........AND SOME INTRODUCTIONS

That's me that is . Rupert the Beer, Rupert the Bear, Rupert the Bruce. Chef Rupee Roo, Chef of the Millennium. Fat bastard. Known here as Lobet, Lupin ,Paw Lana    ( Lana's Dad) or just simply "Falang." Father of the Lovely Lana and the magnificent Mr. Morgan . Husband of my lovely wife Laila and general all round lovely guy ..... honest . Happiest when everyone else is , when growing veg and of course drinking beer... mmmmmmmm .

 
 

This is the lovely Mrs Wai-tiss known as La or El here. . We got married here in Thailand 6 years ago more or less on a whim . I think it was probably that smile that did it. Anyway its all working out nicely .She has done me proud producing the two most lovely children a man could hope for. Happiest when shopping ( of course ) talking endlessly on the phone and of course eating papaya salad.

This is Mrs Lana loving some spaghetti. You would never guess it but she is terribly shy and had to be forced to pose for this picture. ( Yeah right ) Known as the Mini Monkey, Mrs Chopsy and hundreds of other silly names Lana is at 3 years old in no need of her parents any more as she can do everything " all by myself"  Started work as a brain surgeon the other day and is retiring her parents . That's my girl. happiest when all is pink. Increasingly known as The Pest .

  
 

The latest member of the clan is seen here in his classic rocker pose. Too cool for school The Mighty Mr. Morgan  (a.k.a. The Chunky Bunny , Mr Chunky Monkey , Mr Monster and again too many silly names to catalogue) stays at home doing his best to monopolise his slaves , er I mean parents time. Loves playing WWF with dad (goes easy on him don't worry ) charming birds out of trees , Mum , granny and anything with breasts. Has inbuilt radar to warn if dad is about to eat, drink , go shower etc. Loud alarm siren .

And how could I forget dear Meeaw. The most imaginatively named cat in Thailand. Has learned quickly from Morgan that the quickest way to get anything is by repetitive noise making. Earns his keep with regular displays of reptile catching and keeping the front step warm. Quieter than a dog and much less hassle.

                                    So I hear you ask , what brings us to Thailand?  Well it all began a long long time ago , ok only 6 years but long enough. I met Laila  here when I was renewing my Laos visa  back in 2002. we hit it off and after a round trip of Vientiane , Vang Vieng, Udomxai, Bangkok , Pattaya , Kho Samui and Kho Pha Ngan we decided on  a whim to get married. The papers were signed and we were on our way. We made plans to go to Scotland , make some money , a home and a family and return one day to raise kids here. I guess this site is vindication of my snap decision to marry , a tribute to the fact that we are now here , with family and are raising them.  Don't you just love it when a plan comes together. What you read next will be the story of how we got here and what happened next
 

      SOME LOVELY PICTURES OF MY WEE BABIES.

I live here.
 
My lovely friend Mr Snowman. I don't know where he went to. Just up and left his nose behind. Oh well.......

 

 
Lana shows off Broomies biggest sunflower.

No more snow in Thailand . Better make the most of it

                  That's my Khon Yai Ad.                    
Just 2 days old .Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Seen here with hair . Born with tons of it he was. And here its been shaved off. Someone is getting it . Grrrrrrr..... Ah they grow up quickly don't they. The Chunk , fully cheeked
 
 
And so it came to be that Rupert , Lana , Laila and the Chunk decided to exchange cold for hot, work for kids , money for time, and buggered off to live in their house in Thailand. Nongkhai to be exact. Well O.K. Hat Kham Noi to be really pedantic. 7 ks east of the city .

Swapping this lovely villa in sunny Broomhouse , Scotland for this lovely detached construct in down town Hat Kham Noi . Note the use of renewable materials , the open plan lay out and parking to the fore. Ok so we don't really live there but all the pics of the house are in my camera and the lead is broken .

Swapping this view from my front window for this. Note the change in light. That will be my loving wife freshly squeezing oranges for the family if I'm not mistaken. Still smiling too .
And swapping this view < at the back for this >.I do miss my garden in Scotland but somehow think ill be able to adjust. The Mekhong river is just behind the tree line in the picture on the right .
It was funny that in Edinburgh I decided to plant all sorts of vegetables in the garden. but very few survived the onslaught of the BYT. No not a sandwich , but a team of ultra tough young males from Broomhouse , who demonstrated their fearlessness and bravery by stealing my brassicas , bean canes and threatening my wife ( who is 5 foot nothing ) but never while I was home.  I can see the headline now .       Local youths threatened by turnips rip everything up   " It wis totally gaun fir us likes " said 'Secko' Mac Callum  when asked for his motive. "They carrits were starin at ma burd  " added his accomplice 'Deek ' Brown.  Anyway I hardly think I'll have that problem here.
                  

 

What to do here?

    Nongkhai is not known as a sleepy backwater for nothing. Out where I stay there is usually the mooing of a cow or the chatter of people passing on mopeds along the road to interrupt the chirp of insects or croak of frogs.  Not too many night clubs or bars. Laos is just over the river . That's it with the sun setting over it. Good old village life for me. After 10 years in a city this is just what an ex-country boy like me needs. All you need to do here is take it easy .This picture sums it up for me.
And after 15 years on and off in professional kitchens a lack of 'things to do' is most welcome. As a head chef in a busy restaurant and father of 2 children time became irrelevant. Just and endless succession of being woken early , mostly working all day , and  getting broken sleep . I'd buy books and never read them, see on the news what was happening in town as I normally had no idea even what the weather was like. Here we all get to do the things we like. For Lana its cycling around all day with her gang, and having a mum and a dad .Laila has her family ,  a nice car to drive , a husband and endless papaya salad . Morgan has the attention of every female for miles and lots of people to hold him. I get to not work for a good while, enjoy seeing my family , read lots of books, eat and sleep well, go fishing and very excitingly go gardening.  Of course we all benefit from the weather , the chilled atmosphere , the out doors living ,  the great food and each other.

My Garden.

There is something wonderfully rewarding about having a tiny seed , planting it and making it grow into something not only beautiful , but tasty too.  I like gardening for the pleasure of a lovely flower , a fantastic fragrance or even better , something tasty to eat. I have no idea about tropical gardening but I am in farmer country so I'm sure I'll have plenty of advisers. I want to make my garden a little haven where I can step out and be inspired about what to have for tea , or just be inspired. The actual work involved is  not only a great chance to contemplate life but good exercise too. Here are  a few snaps of the things I have found  in it. I'll bring regular updates , and see just what I can grow here.

                                                        FROM THE BEAUTIFUL

TO THE EDIBLE

TO THE SCARY AND INCREDIBLE.!!!
 
 
 These are just a few of the things I have found in my garden so far. Reminds me of being a little kid again. The ants by the way are attacking a nearly dead 'earth snake' . A tiny eyeless snake that lives underground. You can just see his mouth there. The ants do a good job of eating anything in their path . Like my honey spill....... grrrrr. The locals all think I'm  mad wandering about with my camera photographing what must be pretty boring stuff to them. I guess here you only photograph people,  and then only if they make a peace sign. And anyway I'm one up on the locals. I've known I have been mad for ages .
    

Here's Lana , cousin Thom ( fr) cousin Neet ( f l ) and  a girl from next door showing how its done Thai style. Such a peaceful people.

                                                                                  NEWS UPDATE
So , any news from the roving reporter? Well April was Songkran or Thai New Year. It is a 3 day festival where the sun enters aries. ( sounds kinky ) From the 13th to the 15th of April to be exact . Like most new year celebrations its about cleansing , family and having unadulterated fun. Music is cranked up , and  people drink , eat and are merry. What was once a bathing ritual of parents and Buddha images has now taken on the mad sport of water / powder fighting. People set up skooshing stations roadside, kids are armed with water pistols, and pickups are loaded with bins of water to be chucked back. All in all its a tremendous hoot and one which this year I missed due to a fine  bout of bronchitis. All that wetness and powder a disaster for my lungs. Left at home with Morgan I did manage to get some pictures .
                                     Ok! Ok! not exactly the best pictures ever , but I was sick I tell you . Songkran  it has to be said is probably not the best time to be taking pictures what with all that water and everything.
All cars were stopped by the Hat Kham Noi water posse and drenched   The Buddha image as it passed the house on parade around the village
                     We have also been busy doing work on the house. Here the whole family has been roped in to concrete the driveway.
                          

Able workers these kids. Thom does exactly what he is told by fore girl Lana.

Me working really hard at getting bronchitis. Cement dust and 35 degree heat , mmmmmm

Loong Panomsan sensibly working with mask and wellies.

Everyone is drafted in to finish the job. Runway complete. Ready for take-off
 
Here Panomsan goes up on the very home made scaffold to finish the paint job. and I'm glad he did it , cos there's no way you would catch me up there. I did help though .
 
 
 

Other news just in would be that I caught my first ever fish in the Mekhong. Over 1000 types of fish to be caught and  mine was a record breaker. Almost unbelievable eh.  The increasingly rare Pla Beuk is thought to be the worlds heaviest freshwater fish. Here on the  left my 2 guides hold the brute up so I can photograph it better. On the right is a picture of the bait I used to catch it with ...ahem .
 
    Little miss Lana started 'big' school last week. She stands out as being one of only 2 or 3 falang children in the school ( and obviously the most beautiful ) but she is enjoying all the special treatment. She loved nursery in Scotland so I'm glad she has a shiny new school to go to again. 
 
The Mighty Mr. Morgan has also got his first teeth in , eaten his first banana, bowl of rice , mango and orange. There's no stopping this kid. Still nothing beats good old milk from mum . Must be good stuff the rate he is growing. He is taking the teeth in his stride (thankfully) and is so happy with them that he is chewing everything in sight . He can also crawl now so table legs everywhere are quivering in fright. cant get his teeth on film so here's a couple of lovely pictures instead.
              Well , my ass is now sore and I could go on and on and on but I guess I have to stop somewhere. Come back next time when I will introduce some of the extended family , neighbours and report  live from my garden. Special reports could involve such delights as seasonal fruits of the moment , my cooking exploits or a bullshit story about my crocodile  farm. There will always be pictures of my lovely children and Lana has expressed interest in having a little of the page 'all to herself' . Peas , beans and  10 kinds of chillies have  been planted along with tomatoes , aubergines and  peppers.             I'll be off to bed now but before I go ill leave you with these cracking menu items found here in Nongkhai. The menu's are worth reading through even if its just to find gems like these. While I appreciate the efforts of the Thai people to inform ignorant falang like me what is on offer , it baffles me why they never have it spell checked. Still...

    Nice to see that  Equal opportunities exist here too. not going to let a little deafness come between a cow and its inclusion in the supper table. Not sure what it is actually meant to be??? Anyone for blind chicken satay ? Mute frog soup? Pig in a wheelchair?

 

I can assure you that while the west see Asian eating habits as strange, I have never seen anyone eating a cat here. I think the addition of the word fish at the end would help matters. I have shielded Meeaw from this one for obvious reasons.

 
                     If you have got this far , well done. for those of you who cant read I have included quite a number of pictures. see you in about a months time.

If you want copies of any of the photos, or want to write, but you don't know my personal email address, you can send email to :          mail@nongkhai.co.uk