Episode17

The Nongkhai Narrative

Part 17

being Tall Tales from Thailand

Published 13 April 2005

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At the end of part 16 I expressed some doubts that there would be a part 17. I should have realised that my wish to express myself would prevail over such uncharacteristic apprehension. Here is part 17.

Mini Monks

During April, Dott and I visited her home village, which is in Sakhon Nakhon province. This province is renowned throughout Thailand as the one place where people cook and eat dogs. I remember when Dott first told me where she came from, I asked her whether she had ever eaten dog meat, and she replied with a shy 'Yes but only one time'. Apparently it has a strong taste, possibly like venison. While we were there I saw this unusual group of diminutive monks, and took the photo. I now wonder whether there is any correlation between their size and the 'canine' diet.

In part 16 I mentioned meeting an Englishman who had met the Dalai Lama while he was in Nepal. To my surprise, having read part 16, a dear friend wrote as follows:-

Hi Tony,

Hope you and Dott are well. I have not seen Farenheit 9/11. My 20 year old son saw it and said that I should watch it. Unfortunately, I get to the movie so seldom. I will have to rent the DVD. I thought it was interesting on my first trip to Europe. I thought that the US was the beloved country by all the world....what an eye opener. It was fun and insightful to hear how the people of the world respond to George....very scary. I work for a federal agency and as such he is our boss.

Did I tell you that I met the Dalai Lama when I was in Washington in either 1995 or 1996. I had a two week assignment to learn what happens in our Washington DC headquarters. I was staying at the Madison Hotel. As I entered the hotel, I turned and there was a motorcade of motorcycles and black SUV's. Out of one of the SUV's steps a man in a yellow and crimson colored robe. I knew who it was. He had just come from a meeting with the vice president at that time. President Bill Clinton was out of town, and it would have affected his negotiations with China to have met with the Dalai Lama, so the Vice President met with him.

As it turned out, I was staying on the 14th floor of the hotel, and the Dalai Lama was staying on the 11th floor. We rode up in the elevator together with the Secret Service. We greeted each other and he asked me if I had children. I told him that I had two children a boy and a girl. He asked me what values were important to me in raising my children. I told him love and respect. He told me to love them well, they are a gift I already knew they were my most precious gift, but that was my meeting with the Dalai Lama. I did see him several other times during my 2 week stay. He was only there for 3 days. At one point, he was sitting on the planter in the hallway outside his room talking on the telephone. I didn't see any Secret Service around him at that time. Maybe they were only responsible to escort him to and from his meeting.

I saw a TV program recently about the Dalai Lama. If I remember correctly, there has been, is, and will only be one Dalai Lama. This is his 37th incarnation. The program explored in depth the search for this incarnation of the Dalai Lama following the death of the 36th incarnation.

Michael's Prayer Answered (More Italians)

Back in I first mentioned Michael (Cane)'s plea 'Tony you need more Italians'. In response to that plea I published a photo of another Tony (who is Italian) and his wife Tuy. Here they are again, but this time with Tuy's father Boon, in Udonthani. Tony and Tuy have returned to Thailand, and I caught up with them in the village of Banwaeng, which those of you with long memories will remember was were I used to live, and is of course where I first met Tony.

Tony and Tuy will be making their home not far from Banwaeng. At one time he had a restaurant in Phuket, and hopes to do something on similar lines in the near future, perhaps in Banwaeng itself.

	Tuy's father Boon is a skilled craftsman, who did a lot of work on my house. In this photo (of the only building I have both designed and constructed), it was Boon's skilled hands that produced the circular columns and exposed beams, the radiused walls to the ponds, the perfect tiled floor and the natural stone facing to the wall. I was very proud of our efforts together, so it was horrible to walk past the house last month and see the neglect to the house, the overgrown garden, and the ponds full of rubbish.
I shan't forget how it looked while I lived there!

The Outback Bar and Grill

I've said before that Glen is always ready to pose, and here he is outside OJ's doing his impression of a sermon from the pulpit. As the thick woolly jumper indicates, we were having an unseasonable cold spell in March. (We had another one in April, complete with unseasonable rain).

Glen suggested that he might change the name of his bar and grill to 'The Jazz Club'. Naturally I asked why? It turns out that in one week, seven, yes 7 of Glen's customers were driving a Honda Jazz. And before you ask, it was 7 different Jazz's, not seven people driving the same Jazz. I've had mine well over a year now (it was in that I was fined for speeding), and I find it such a practical car, but I hadn't realised how many fellow 'farangs' also have one. I guess that it must be the number one car choice for farangs (in Nongkhai at least).

The same chilly night we went to an open air music club	with a Country & Western theme, hence the hats!

A Competition

Hey it's ages since the last competition, so it's time for another one, and this one is dead easy. Pictured right are four handsome residents of Nongkhai. There is one special thing that links three out of the four. So who is the odd one out, and more importantly what is it that he doesn't share with the other three?

For obvious reasons this competition is not open to all, but I will give a large Heineken bottle (as seen on the table) to the first eligible receiver to give the correct answer.

Danish Visitor Deceived
	Kim's friend Per (in blue) came to Thailand last month. Kim quite selflessly went off to Bangkok to meet his friend from Denmark. They spent nearly a week there visiting temples and palaces, the way you do when you are two guys out together in Bangkok. While they were visiting one tourist spot, Per met a beautiful Thai lady, who was persuaded to join Per and Kim for a meal. Despite Per and Kim spending quite some time in her company, Per never realised that 'she' was in truth a 'he', known in Thai as a khattoy, or in English as a 'ladyboy'. Kim had realised, but was enjoying watching Per making a fool of himself too much to tell him. In the end, 'she' told Per, which gave him quite a big surprise. That wasn't the end of Per's surprises. While in Bangkok, he bought five relatively expensive copies of well known watches, paying perhaps 10,000 baht in all. Going home to Denmark he had to change planes in Amsterdam, at which point he entered Europe and was surprised to be stopped by Dutch customs officers. Not only did they confiscate the watches, but they fined him too!
Per gazes at Kim in awe, "how did you know she was a he?"	Kim, Derrick and I will be found most Wednesdays at 7 pm in OJ's, glued to American Idol. Somehow Scott has survived yet another week after a truly awful performance. Clearly 'Idol' has a flawed voting system, when the better singers are eliminated. But wait, doesn't this sound familiar? A flawed voting system, the better candidate eliminated. Where did all that happen last November? Wasn't it George Dubya land?

Count the 'F's (Not A Competition)

Even more Italians!

Try this quick test. It is a little bit of fun, and I promise there are no "tricks" to the test. Read this sentence:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

Now count the F's in that sentence. Count them only once, only once: Do not go back and count them again.

After you are done, the answer is below.

(With thanks to 'Chatchy'.)

Max & Wee from Chang Mai, visiting Nongkhai on a visa run

Nongkhai Reader's Requests & Suggestions

One Nongkhai reader who shares my views on George Dubya suggested that we might send him the biography of Abraham Lincoln, and follow it up with a gift of some theatre tickets. What a good idea! Another asked whether I would be prepared to accept contributions from other residents of Nongkhai. At first I thought that he meant financial contributions, but my hopes were dashed when he explained he meant written contributions for publication. The answer is yes, provided the articles meet the rules that I have set for myself. So if anyone wants to contribute, please get in touch. Which reminds me Mr Sheppard, when are you going to write the exposé you promised?

Count the 'F's (Answer)
There are six F's in the sentence. The "average" person finds three. There is no catch. Many people do not see the F's in the word "OF". It has been argued that the human brain tends to see them as V's and not F's.	I tried this myself, and I slowly and carefully counted three F's! I was really surprised that I had missed the F's in 'of'. I got Dott to do it, and she found all six!

Happy Birthday Marianne

Tomorrow (14th) is my sister's birthday, so I would like to wish her a very happy birthday. She is in the throes of moving house, which is very stressful, but I hope she will be able to find some time today between work and moving, to enjoy her birthday.

This picture was taken on a day out together with our Mum & Dad on Mum's birthday. It was probably the first time that just the four of us had been out together since Marianne and I were teenagers.

On Saturday (16th) it is her husband Paul's birthday. Paul and I were in the same class at school from 1956 to 1958, nearly 50 years ago.

By coincidence Saturday (16th) is also Derrick's birthday, so to both of my brothers-in-law I say

Happy Birthday Paul & Derrick

Meanwhile, in Udon Thani

Immediately after 19/2 I received a lot of help and support from John and Puy (pictured here over a meal at the Pizza Company). More recently I have had lots of advice from John. In itself this is nothing new, I have written before that John has a crusading spirit, and John is a liberal dispenser of free advice. This time however, I thought it was good advice, so I took it. John And Puy, I owe you a meal!

	A few rubbers of bridge in good company is a very pleasant way to spend a day, and so much better when you are on the winning side. Left at the City Lodge I was dummy on this hand being played by my partner Alan. We managed to trounce David (like me folliclely challenged) and Tom (with his back to the camera).
Right, on my maiden visit, Ray and I had a good run of cards so I was again on the victorious side, beating David and Tom (again with his back to the camera) by several rubbers. If anyone in Nongkhai or Udonthani has previously played, and is interested in playing again, you should email me and I will give you David's phone number as he acts as secretary.

Stop Press

Remember this picture in ?

I was writing about the sale of alcohol on garage forecourts. On the TV news on Tuesday evening (12th) they announced that garages were now banned from selling alcohol. Wow what a good idea! Is Dr Thaksin (our prime minister) reading my ezine?

Turns out the ban is only for the Song Kran holiday period. Next week will be back to normal!

OK That's enough for this episode. I'm off to enjoy the Thai New Year (Song Kran) for the next few days.

Best Wishes to all our readers for Song Kran

Tony and Dott

P.S. Doughnut says 'Song Kran woofs to all readers and Song Kran Kisses to Kim.

If you don't know any of our other email addresses, you can email us at yo@tonybrading.net Please don't send attachments as I am getting regular virus attacks at this address, and I now automatically delete all attachments sent there. If you want to send an attachment, write first, and I will supply you with another address.