The Nongkhai Narrative

a.k.a. Tall Tales from Thailand

(Part 15)

  Published 22 February 2005

Chinese New Year

Dott and I live in a new house in the centre of Nongkhai very close to a large Chinese school which is the centre of a lot of community activity. As part of the celebrations for the Chinese New Year we were invited to a fund raising banquet at the school. It was a vegetarian meal, and consisted of a seemingly endless number of delicious courses. While we ate  we  were  entertained  by a stage

Candles, flowers and incense being offered to Gao May Gwun Im

show with a variety of Chinese-style acts.  Many of the performers  wore colourful costumes, and I managed to get my photo taken with this group of pretty girls.

Later in the evening, this large gong was brought in. The idea is that you make a donation and strike the gong as loudly as you can so that Buddha is aware of you. Most of the guests took their turn, as did Dott and I. At each strike of the gong, the girls would bow to the guest and chant "May you have lots of customers". This may seem a strange thing to wish, but remember that many Chinese people are business people. The girl at this end of the row gave each donor two oranges. All the proceeds of the evening went towards the building of a new temple at Bung Gan some way away. 

Like many towns in the UK, Nongkhai has a branch of Tesco's. But unlike the UK you may also have this man on the left, the dragon dancers on the right, and the loud percussion group on the far right at Chinese New Year. It made our weekly trip to the supermarket far more noisy and colourful than usual.

Brendan's Quiz Afternoon

Brendan (left) aided by Ajarn Jon put on a quiz one Friday afternoon, and acted as quizmaster. Brendan brings to this rôle the same qualities that Herod brought to childcare, so he was understandably nervous, and sunk a few beers in advance. These did not aid Brendan's diction which turned the quiz into a near farce. There were four rounds to the quiz, the winner of each round  receiving a

Quizmaster Brendan Universally Challenged?

bar voucher to be spent that day.

To our surprise Dan and I won Round 1

Dan and I went on to win Round 2, but we were defeated in Round 3 when Brendan asked "What was the Vulgate Aversion?" We had no idea. The surprise answer turned out to be 'The Bible'. Nobody understood. So Ajarn Jon read the question again which this time was "What was the Vulgate a version of?" Answer 'The Bible'. Now it made sense.

In the end, Dan and I won three out of the four rounds but couldn't spend all our vouchers that day. We appealed to Brendan, who generously remembered that 'The customer is always right' and allowed us to redeem our last voucher at a Burns night supper the following week.

On the left the expressions on the faces of the Australian team say it all, while on the right Ajarn Jon's oh so sporting comment on our success.

Dan and I want to say thank you Brendan for a very entertaining afternoon.

Meanwhile in Udonthani ...

I am pleased to report that Richard took the hint about organising his 40th birthday party. It was only one year late, as it took place on his 41st birthday! Richard generously paid for a whole roast pig, which came from a local farang farmer. The farmer himself was there too, but sadly was 'in his cups', and droned on relentlessly to anyone and everyone that his pigs were clean. At first I thought he meant that they bathed a lot, but I later realised that he meant 'drug-free'.  As it turned out the pork was tender, succulent and very tasty. It disappeared very rapidly. Thank you for a great 'do' Richard.

Richard and Jum

Richard with Colin's girlfriend Aum, unaware that Jon is about to use his ear as an ashtray!

Colin with Nan, the daughter of girlfriend Aum. The resemblance between mother and daughter is clear.

Jimmy and I

A number of my regular readers will recognise this woman, particularly her colleagues at work in Kosovo, where this photo was taken, and perhaps too her new work colleagues in Kuwait. But among my readers are some of her former work colleagues from the 1990's in Kent, and I wonder if any of them have recognised her yet? If you worked on the same large road project in East Kent that she and I worked on, you may recognise this former engineer's assistant (known as a chain person in the UK).

If you need a further clue, she and I were close friends and used to play chess a lot in our lunchtimes. Yes it's Susan Brophy.

Recently Susan sent me this photo on the left, with the comment that

"I've met this bloke or should I say I've captured the enemy.  I was hit by an invisible 2 x 4 and I'm sure he's my soul mate."

Well comparing the two photos, you seem a lot happier in the one with Mr Hernon, so you are doing something right Susan!

Best wishes to you and Philip.

Glen's girlfriend Yai cooks tasty Thai food, and a lot of Thai wives and girlfriends of farangs will eat only Thai food, but most don't read English, so there would be no point in listing the dishes in English. Glen had the idea of putting Yai's cooking repertoire on the board in Thai, and recruited Dott and me to do the translation. Dott and I sat down with Yai and listed all her dishes. Then Dott spelt them out while I wrote them down on a piece of paper. I offered the paper to Glen to put up on the board, but I could see from his expression that he wasn't keen, so the task fell to me. Glen was pleased with the result, and Dott and I received a free glass of red wine each for our efforts.

Glen wants to establish a 'Progressive Dinner'. Apparently this idea is popular in Australia. Once a month a three course set meal will be organised. The novelty is that each course is eaten in a different restaurant. Over a three month period the restaurants will rotate the course that they are providing. I think this is a great idea and would like to see it take place. If you are interested in attending then you can let me know by email, or visit Glen and tell him.

I am presently reading Bangkok 8 by John Burdett. It is a good story, well written, but what I particularly enjoy are the insights it contains in to Buddhist thinking at a grass roots level. There is also an interesting prediction in the book. 'There will be a massive shift of power from West to East in the middle of the twenty-first century, caused not by war or economics but by a subtle alteration in consciousness. The new age of biotechnology will require a highly-developed intuition which operates outside of logic...... The peoples of Southeast Asia, who have never been poisoned by logical thought, will find themselves in the driving seat.'

Well many of us with Thai wives would agree that they have never been poisoned by logical thought, but 'the peoples of Southeast Asia' is an eye opener.

I also find echoes of 'The Celestine Prophecy' in this book, but perhaps that is also part of the nature of Buddhism.

Looking back to Dott's birthday in May last year, one can see the start of the custom established between Derrick Kim and I of celebrating our own and our partner's birthdays by hosting a meal for close friends. Those with a good memory will recall in part 7 Don similarly shared cakes and a bottle of Jameson's in Andrew's bar on his birthday. We have almost come full circle, and Nong's birthday coincides with Valentine's Day. In accordance with custom Derrick paid for the party at a very nice Thai restaurant on the river just out of town. It was unfortunate that when we arrived, the place was full with couples celebrating Valentine's Day, but they soon made space for us at a nice spot in the garden, and as I hope the photos will show, a great evening was had by all.

Nong reached one of those birthdays with a zero in it

Sam (son of Derrick) & Virginia (wife of Don)

Nong and best friend Maew

Kim's wife Ou & Alan's wife Nit share a joke with Don

Dott & I

So where are Kim and Alan? I hear you cry (not). Just be patient a little longer please.

OK That's enough for this episode. It is a little later than planned because the weekend found me in the emergency department of a hospital in Udonthani after losing a significant quantity of blood. As the incident is the subject of an ongoing police investigation which I do not want to prejudice, I will say no more at this time, except to thank my family and friends who have been so supportive over the last 3 days, especially my wife Dott, Wee Jimmy and his wife Lampai, Wulf-Dieter Krueger, Major John and Glen.     Episode 16 will include details of Glen's Outback Club and how to become a member.

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