Published     5 September 2004

The Nongkhai Narrative (Pt. 8)

Greetings to All Our Readers Wherever you are!

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
 

Sitting on a beach in Thailand, this beautiful bronze cat is nearly 3 metres high 

A number of readers correctly observed that the first paragraph of part 7 was pointed, and asked if I was referring to them. I did say in that same paragraph that 'such (busy) people will not be reading these words', and my prediction proved to be correct. So everyone who read part 7 (and I am told that I now have readers in 14 countries around the world) can be certain that I was not writing about them. In fact my words were doubly pointed, as they were both barbed and aimed. You will recall that in part 7 I was writing about taking time out of a busy life to appreciate those good things that one encounters, and I have reproduced above the whole of the poem by William Henry Davies. In part 6 I was writing about taking time to do "good", and to help others less fortunate than oneself. I want to suggest that these are really different facets of the same concept, and that I wasn't directing my comments to 'people who are busy', (since to some extent aren't we all busy much of the time?) But in referring to 'busy' people I really meant those people who are so ego-centric, pre-occupied with only themselves that they have no time for others, or for the fleeting things of life. They are the ones who claim the pretext that they are too busy, when what they really mean is 'I can't be bothered'. It is my observation that those who can be bothered, are also likely to be genuinely busy, yet somehow they still find time to 'smell the roses'.

Imagine seeing this view every time you go up or downstairs! 

I referred above to 'readers in 14 countries,' (I am certain of 14, there could be more), and I find it very flattering that there are so many. I know that some of my readers are not native English speakers, and it does concern me that they do not always find it easy to understand less familiar parts of the English language. It would be possible to simplify my vocabulary, to meet them half way, but if I may quote one of my favourite authors on this very subject, "... meeting him/her half way, or a quarter of the way ... is a mistaken thing to do anyway, either useless (when applied to the stupid) or pernicious (when applied to the gifted)". The author in question was of course J R R Tolkien, and I shall adhere to his principle, but I will also try to keep foreign readers in mind. Separately I have listed the countries that I know about. If you want to view the list press this button. A natural egotism that is I hope understandable makes me want to ask if there are readers in countries not on the list, and if so which countries are they? If you know of one or more please send an email to me at countries@tonybrading.net   

Nongkhai Society of Weight Watchers

At Andrew's bar regular weight watchers Big Jim, Big John, and Big Ernie were joined by a popular visitor to Nongkhai, Not Quite So Big Paddy. Keen to join the society, but not yet meeting the entrance requirements, Paddy immediately ordered a second meal, but was photographed here struggling to finish it.

Pictured left Big Jon age 37, has been getting some serious grief from his wife, about his increasing waistline (38"), and has been making strenuous efforts to lose weight. While the Atkins diet seems very popular in many parts of the world, and is reported to be successful by many people, Big Jon has devised his own special diet with a strong emphasis on substance abuse supplemented by chocolate bars.

Jon's unusual diet is clearly successful, you have only to compare these photos taken last month in the Complex, with the one above taken 2 months ago, but I do wonder whether sniffing all that glue is having a bad effect on Jon. Asked why he had his sunglasses on the top of his head, Jon confided that he was wearing them as a cosmic ray shield.  Now you might think that Jon is starting to suffer from delusions, but this is the man who thinks that Newcastle has a football team, so he has clearly spent his life suffering from one delusion or another. Who knows, maybe sunglasses do protect the top of your head from cosmic rays, and one day Newcastle will have a football team?

Back in part 5 I referred to Carlsberg's departure from Thailand and used my favourite truism, 'If you want to make a small fortune in Thailand, come with a large one'. I really think every farang should have this stamped in his passport on arrival. The latest victim is a German living not far from me in Nongkhai. He set up a coffee bar, with a car rental business alongside and bought 3 cars. In a demonstration of how easy it is to obtain forged identity papers, Thai people have hired cars from him on two occasions. Now he has only 1 car available for rent.

Red Swan Bar

Part 7 featured Andrew on a motorcycle, and I wrote 'You will note that Andrew is not wearing a helmet (fine 500 baht), because it was dusk and 'everyone knows' that Thai police only stop and fine you during the daytime.   Oh dear! Not two nights later, Kim and Ou, Dtawt and I ate at 'Ban', our favourite Neua Yang Gow Lee restaurant on the bank of the Mekhong, having gone there on our motorbikes. While we were there we had even joked about nobody having a helmet, because 'everyone knows' that they were only needed in daytime. We went home around 9 pm and found a dozen or so policemen out in force by the 7/11 on Prajak Road. Kim was in the lead and spotted the police road block 50 metres ahead. We stopped and did a swift U-turn, completing our journey by a different route, and saving 2000 baht!

By co-incidence Big Jim, Big Ernie, Big John, myself, our respective wives, Paddy and Michael Cane all went to Andrew's bar last Friday night to eat. However unknown to us, or to Andrew, Wi (left) had other plans, and was nowhere to be found. I have included this picture of Wi as a service to Andrew, in case he forgets what his wife looks like before she gets back as he has no idea when that might be.

Udonthani Complexities

Colin, Major John and I continue our Saturday afternoon meetings at The Complex, where we were very pleased to see Q once again. Q is an excellent chef, and will soon be seen much more often at The Complex later this year when a new restaurant project in which he is involved opens on the ground floor. Of course when that happens, Q will be working and won't have time to join us on a Saturday afternoon for a sup of ale. So I hope we'll see you every week for the next few weeks until then, Q. After that we'll have the pleasure of  re-acquainting ourselves with your cooking.

The Meeting Place

L to R, Nigel, Glen, and Paul's father Ken, have been busy at the Meeting Place, making quite a transformation, and a big party is due to take place on 4th September to mark the completion of work. The next episode will feature the event.

As well as changing the premises, the staff have been changing too, and Nikki and Nok no longer work there. This does not mean that they do not go there though, and they are able to spend a lot more time with customers than when they were confined to serving drinks. In their place have come Cherry and Benz. No pictures of Benz yet, but here is Cherry (right) and yet another farang named John (far right). Don't they make a lovely couple? In keeping with Nongkhai wit and wisdom he is known as Tattoo John, but he might just as easily be Dutch John for the obvious reason. I can reveal that Tattoo John is not the only farang in Nongkhai to have fallen for Cherry's charms, but her other suitor has asked to remain anonymous.

'More Italians'

Back in part 7 Hans claimed that it was he who had invented the name Michael Cane. Michael read the episode and gave credit elsewhere, adding 'Tony you need more Italians'. So Michael, here is a picture of my good friend Antonio Monteverdi, who is 100% Italian, with his lovely Italian (not) wife Tuy, a popular Italian (not) car, and in the background 'more Italians'. Tony you are putting on weight!! Must be all that good Italian food!! Would you like to open a branch of 'Nongkhai Weight Watchers' in Italy?

Tha Sadet F1 Supporters

Some time ago I pictured Jim Aitken (left) in his Jordan uniform at Carsten's bar. Since then I have been waiting to picture Carsten in his Ferrari uniform. Here he is (far right) in the Kiwi Sports Cafe for the Hungarian GP, managing to look interested in what was without doubt the most boring race of the whole season. Many of the races have proved so boring this year that most fans were left with an overt aching for something to happen. Finally  it did happen at Spa last weekend! At first we couldn't believe it. An F1 race where one car went past another!! Instead of the traditional overt aching we were treated to "overtaking", and not just once, it happened many times. Sadly Carsten wasn't with us to share in the defeat of Ferrari/Schumacher, but we didn't let that spoil the victory.

Doughnut's Fashion Corner  

It was Ou's birthday last month, and we all went to a nice Thai restaurant on the Mekhong. I don't know the name of it, but it is the one where all the waitresses have deep voices. After the meal we went to OJ's for a slice of a most delicious birthday cake. Kim had a struggle to cut it as it was packed in dry ice, and frozen solid, but eventually he succeeded. Kim, I did say last episode that you should try a different shirt, but here you are wearing that same one again. At least Ou always looks gorgeous.

Now take a look at these photos, can you spot a common factor in them?

.

Left: Kim and Dan at 'Ban' in May

Right: Kim and Ou at 'Ban' in June.

Left: Kim and Ou at Dee Dee's in July.

Right: Kim and Ou at another good Thai restaurant (recommended by Virginia) in September.

Kim, do you see what I'm saying here?

Woofs to all my readers and special happy birthday kisses to Kim for your birthday on 6th September, I hope you will like my special present for you.

Doughnut the Doughty.  

Stop Press

The Meeting Place party on 4th September was a great success, and everyone enjoyed it very much. There will be lots of photos in the next episode, but I wanted to include this one of Paul and Joy who both worked very hard to make sure that everyone had a good time.

Ian isn't on the Atkins diet or even Jon's chocolate bar and substance abuse diet, but he continues to emulate Howard Hughes, and called me from a secret location to record his weight as 83 kg. Annabelle any chance you could verify that and let us know?

Best wishes to all our readers everywhere Dtawt and Tony

You can email us here, (it will launch Outlook Express on your computer).   If you don't have or don't use O E, you can email us at yo@tonybrading.net