Published     21 August 2004

The Nongkhai Narrative (Pt. 7)

Greetings to All Our Readers Wherever you are!

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?

Opening Lines of a poem by

William Henry Davies (1871-1940) 

Mekhong river at sunset, the far bank is Laos             

I first heard these lines a long time ago, and ever since I've used it as confirmation of my own belief that one should always be ready to take time out of a busy life to appreciate those good things that one encounters. I do know some people who are 'so busy' with their objectives, scurrying towards a distant goal, that they have no time to see where they are now or to enjoy what they have.  Scenery, a sunset, or even clouds can all be so beautiful yet so fleeting, but 'busy' people have no time to appreciate them. It's not just being retired, or living in Thailand that now gives me the time to appreciate beautiful things, it is a habit I've strived to cultivate all my life, and as they say, 'Old habits die hard'. But it does seem a shame to me that there are some people going through this life so focussed on the distant horizon that they don't see what is here and now. Such people will not be reading these words because they will be 'too busy', and they will spend the whole of their lives being 'too busy', whether they are 33 or 68. But they like you and me have 10,080 minutes per week. Is it really so hard to spare 5 minutes out of more than 10,000? I've yet to meet someone who knows the hour of their death, so it has always made sense to me to temper distant goals with an appreciation of the present, because nobody knows how long their present will last. My first wife died at the age of 42. At 7.54 p.m. she was in good health helping with the washing up after the evening meal. At 7.59 p.m. she was dead. It was a dreadful shock. I mention it here as a  reminder that our grip on this life is at best tenuous, so take time to enjoy your present.

Some very clever topiary on the road to Tha Bo                 

I started Part 6 writing about reciprocity, the idea that by trying to do "good", to help others, you are more likely to receive "good". I was worried that I was going too far by writing in that way, but in another 'co-incidence', less than a week after I published, I sat down to watch Akira Kurosawa's "Dreams", which I had not seen before. What a beautiful film! It convinced me that I was not wrong to write as I did. All eight dreams had a message, but especially touching was 'Village of the Watermills', in which a funeral is full of life and colour because it is celebrating the life of the deceased rather than mourning their passing. Another dream 'Crows' gave me an appreciation of Vincent Van Gogh that I did not have before. My thanks go to Virginia (left) for the loan of that and other DVD's.

The question posed in part 6 turned out to be nothing to do with Tolkien, but was an assault on someone else's dreams, so minus 100 points to me for publishing it. Lots of children dream of being pop stars, so what is wrong with someone of my generation dreaming that they were? If knowing that, you still want to know the answer, deduct 50 points and press this button. If the link won't work for you, simply send an email including the word 'link' in the title to me at tigger@tonybrading.net   

Virginia has become 'Godmother' to Doughnut, but caused some confusion when she wrote to her friends about having a God-dog. I'm told that in Texas, her friend Kathleen had visions of Virginia worshipping at the temple of 'Doughnut the Deity'. It's bad enough that he calls himself 'Doughnut the Doughty', please don't give him ideas. Personally I think that given his love of mud and puddles, 'Doughnut the Dirty' is more appropriate. He stayed with Virginia one Saturday while I went to The Complex, and they were both exhausted afterwards. Nevertheless it was reported that they had had a good time, so it is a shame that Virginia is off to the States for a month. I'm sure Doughnut will join me in wishing her a good trip, and looking forward to her return.   

Graham (left) went back to the UK for a spell. He was snapped here in Andrew's bar, without Apple. A big bonus from Graham's absence is that we are seeing a lot more of Apple. Apple (right) is clearly using her hands to indicate the size of something, and Andrew suggested that she was explaining what she found attractive about Graham. Realistically we are not sure whether Graham was in any part subject of the conversation or alternatively whether any part of Graham was the subject of the conversation.

 Also at Andrew's was my anonymous neighbour, generously celebrating his birthday by sharing a bottle of Jameson's and a birthday cake with the assembled company. Dtawt and I accepted the invitation and attended. Dividing things fairly between us, I shared in the Jameson's, while she shared in the cake.

Earlier that evening, we had eaten at OJ's, where Derrick's son Sam is presently staying following his motorcycle accident in Samui. Sam (right) with a broken arm, leg and head injuries is further proof (if it was ever needed) that when you have wrapped yourself around a lot of alcohol, it is not a good idea to get on a motorcycle to drive home. Nevertheless, most of us have done it at some time, and been lucky enough to get away with it. Sam remembers nothing of the accident, and very little of the next four days, so if he was drinking to forget, he seems to have been successful.

Nongkhai Weight Watchers (Australian Rules)

In part 6 we pictured Big Alan, Big Jim, Big John, and Michael Cane, sitting together at a table sagging under the weight of empty beer bottles, and watching their weights. So it was a shock to visit Andrew's bar and to see both Big John (left) and Big Jim (right) drinking water! Perhaps it is the water that is making them look so serious. I can assure you that these pictures are genuine, and were not posed. Equally suspiciously neither of them was present on the evening of the free Jameson's and birthday cake either. I believe that both Big Alan, and Michael Cane are at present away, but I'm sure that they will be convening an emergency meeting on their return! The sobriety of Big Jim and Big John led to a deep and meaningful debate as to whether the Meeting Place or OJ's was the nearer. (Imagine what the shallow and meaningless debates fuelled by alcohol must be like). Andrew decided to bring the debate to a conclusion by mounting his motorcycle and riding to each destination, recording the distance on each occasion. It turned out (he said) that they were equidistant at 0.3 km each. Although there was a strong feeling that the odometer on Andrew's motorcycle was insufficiently discriminatory, Andrew declined to do the round trip to each destination 50 times (enabling us to divide the distance thus covered by 100) to give a more accurate answer. He did however volunteer to check the distance to Carsten's bar, which also turned out to be 0.3 km. As a final check Andrew then rode to Udonthani, which amazingly was also 0.3 km away. So now we know that on Andrew's motorcycle everywhere in Thailand is just 0.3 km away.

You will note that Andrew is not wearing a helmet (fine 500 baht), because it was dusk and 'everyone knows' that Thai police only stop and fine you during the daytime.

Meanwhile these men are in training to join the Nongkhai Chapter of (Australian Rules) Weight Watchers as possible replacements for Big John and Big Jim. On the right is Big Ernie, although not everyone will recognise him as he has just shaved off a very full beard. Spookily nobody who saw the picture of the man on the left recognised him. It is of course Big Jon as he now likes to be known, and it turns out that he has been doing some serious weight watching. His waistline in inches is now greater than his age in years. Can anyone else claim that? Would anyone like to hazard a guess at the figures?

I trawled through my archives and found these two photos taken in The Danish Baker some time ago. In those days he was known as Ajarn Jon, and it seems we captured him giving some serious thought to the choice between drinking water (like Big John and Big Jim above) or drinking beer (like Big Ernie). I don't think we need to be especially bright to work out which choice he made.

Thursday 12th August was the 72nd birthday of the Queen of Thailand. In Nongkhai we were treated to a wonderful free display of 'fire flowers' as they are called in Thai. I did take some photos, but inevitably fireworks photos never capture the effect, so I haven't included them.

Udonthani Complexities

Thursday 12th was also the birthday of Major John. (you might say that there are a lot of johns in Udonthani, but I wouldn't). The Major won't admit that he makes Ebenezer Scrooge look like a philanthropist, but there was no bottle of Jameson's or birthday cake. Now I'm not saying that John never puts his hand in his pocket, its just that when it does go in, it usually stays there, so no-one ever sees the contents. Earlier in the week John had asked his wife Phon whether she would be buying him a present.

Oh! Yes.

Will it be something useful?

Oh! Yes very useful.

Can you tell me what it is then?

Oh! Yes, it's a washing machine, but you have to give me the money!

So Major John bought himself a washing machine for his birthday! His friends in Udonthani wanted to make their own contribution to his special day, but weren't sure which brand of washing powder the Major preferred.

The Meeting Place

As promised I have revisited Paul with a view to monitoring progress. Improvement work continues, but the main thing that caught my eye was Nikki (left posing with the new colour scheme). Nikki is yet another good looking single girl who speaks English very well, and is a lot of fun to be with. Also in the Meeting Place was Hans (right) and his girlfriend Doowan. Hans comes from Holland, and was proudly telling me that it was he who had invented the name Michael Cane, soon after Michael (Merrill) started using a stick. Well that sums it up for Dutch humour I guess.

Doughnut's Corner  

Kim took the hint and started writing again. You might want to question the mental health of a man who has a dog as a pen-friend, but it now seems that my friend Kim doesn't have any friends apart from myself, so you must make allowances. Kim insisted that  he take me to Ban, our favourite Neua Yang Gow Lee restaurant (Ou, Tony and Dtawt were allowed to come too). Once there he introduced me to his 'Danish friends' Bo and Karina. That's Bo right, Kim's wife Ou (far right) with Tony (centre). During a very pleasant evening it emerged that Bo is a professional actor who had met Kim only that day. Not only were Bo and his wife getting a free meal, but he was being paid by Kim to put on a show that he had known Kim for a long time, and to act as his friend. Well Bo you are a good actor, and you had Ou, Tony and Dtawt completely convinced, only I Doughnut the Detective was able to discern the truth. But Bo, between you and me I think you should keep a very close eye on Kim as he seems to be getting a little bit too friendly with your wife!

Striving to keep up the pretence that he has friends, Kim once again invited me to Ban, our favourite Neua Yang Gow Lee restaurant (once again allowing Ou, Tony and Dtawt to come). This time we met Bent, another professional actor from Denmark, etc, etc.

Seriously Kim why don't you just try the red bows in your hair? It would do so much for your appearance, that stern look (right) just does not suit you. And why do all your friends names begin with B? And what about trying a different shirt, or even a different restaurant? If you want some fashion tips I'll be very happy to pass on the address of my stylist.                             

Woofs to all my readers but special big wet kisses (no tongues) to Kim

Doughnut the Doughty.  

More PADS in Nongkhai

Meanwhile Ian tries to look anonymous as he cycles around Nongkhai, but its no good Ian those dark glasses don't fool anybody. Incidentally Ian now claims to be 84 kg. The latest excuse for failing to submit to independent adjudication on weighty matters is "My daughter Annabelle has come to Bangkok and I want to go and see her." Come on Ian, after everything you've said about her and the 'female movement' this doesn't stand up.

Overseas you've probably heard about SARS, but here PADS is the big worry, and it seems to be spreading. On the right is Jeff visiting Nongkhai on a visa run, seen here in the Meeting place. Jeff I'm not flattered to be called Ian! On the same night I was also called Ian by Joy (Paul's wife) Paul what are you doing to her that makes her eyesight so wonky? But worst of all, can you believe that my sister-in-law Nong (Derrick's wife) also called me Ian too!

If I ever meet Annabelle and she calls me Ian, then I will know for sure that I don't exist and that I am just a pale memory of a chubby Australian called Ian. Perhaps that could be my epitaph? But I'm not sure that "Here lieth somebody who looked like Ian" would be an improvement on "Here lieth Chris's dad". Doesn't anybody know my name?

Synchronicity

I referred above to the shock of the death of my first wife. Both of my children (in truth adults, but always my beloved children) asked me to point out that she was not my wife at the time of her death. But in a spooky coincidence a week ago, at the time I was writing that opening paragraph about enjoying the present, and making reference to their Mother, my children  were camping together for the weekend in Norfolk, England, and 'had a similar discussion (about enjoying the journey in life, not just the destination) round a rather splendid wood fire.' As a latter day vegetarian, Jacq added 'We also had the usual meat-fest done on the fire, marshmallows and the usual substances.' I can only think that 'substances' refers to salt, pepper, tomato sauce etc.

Just before writing this conclusion Dtawt and I (it was Dtawt's choice) watched 'Cirque du Soleil'. Wow, Akira Kurosawa's 'Dreams' blew me away, so what I wrote above about 'Dreams' (and it wasn't enough to do it justice) you can more than double, but in spades!! Does it come as a surprise to those who know me or those who know Virginia that this film is also on loan from her to me? Please, please, please Virginia may I take these two films to England in October so that I can share them with my children? I promise to look after them and bring them safely back.

Best wishes to all our readers everywhere Dtawt and Tony

You can email us here, (it will launch Outlook Express on your computer).   If you don't have or don't use O E, you can email us at dreams@tonybrading.net